gift guide: sh*t to ask your parents for

Screen Shot 2014-12-04 at 10.02.53 PMAs it pertains to me–because this is my blog–I like gifts that I would never buy myself but that I’m obviously going to use. Who wants something that they’d never buy themselves that they’d never use?

I’ve been there many times and it’s not fun. The worst is when you get something that you can’t return. I know it’s supposed to be the thought that counts but it’s not. If thought was the only thing that counted, there’d be no market for gifts. It makes me cringe when I think about all the time I’ve my mom has spent returning things that I either didn’t like or wasn’t going to use. Can I my mom get those hours back as a gift? How about money for the gasoline? The depreciation of the car? The lack of a peaceful afternoon not going to the mall? 

Here are a few no-fail options that help us avoid the waste of time and the disappointment that comes with receiving a gift that never had a chance. Who doesn’t love a cookbook of their favorite blog? Or a fifth pair of slippers? And while you usually don’t need to be reminded that everyone’s a dumb whore, sometimes a matted needlepoint of that truism frames your perspective. 

Happy holidays, and maybe next time, just go for cash–or bitcoins.