We live in a world of many choices: what to eat for breakfast, what underwear to buy, what shade of blue your dog’s harness should be—the amount of decisions we get to make and number of choices we have is immense. A midst all of this gluttony, I’m most fascinated by the fashion choices we make, which I think is pretty clear by the simple fact that I write predominantly about style. Riding the subway at rush hour is a daily habit, and when you’re crammed in a train car, what else are you going to do but look around? When I have time and can afford the space to turn my head, I take it all in, observing what people are listening to, reading, and wearing. Riding the 2/3 through midtown to the near tip of Manhattan, you see a lot of professional types and there is definitely a certain type of girl that that dresses a certain way. Do you know who I’m talking about? She’s the girl with the okay job, the one that she doesn’t totally love but knows it’s a steppingstone to the career of her dreams. She’s the girl that has to wear something unfortunate to the office, and by unfortunate I mean both a) slacks and a blazer; and b) something too trendy. She’s the girls that buys cold-pressed juice everyday but doesn’t have anything saved. She’s also the girl with the bag. But which bag? There are several acceptable choices when it comes to the bag you bring to the office. They each say something very specific about who you are.
HERVE CHAPELIER: You’re sporty and utilitarian, or want to be perceived as such. These ridiculously durable bags are simple in design with color combinations that don’t actually make sense for everyday use. Therefore, you don’t need to be a particularly stylish person to tote one. These bags are also excellent for saying, “I’m going to work out, and you’re not.” They’re the equivalent of those stupid gym bag so many guys carry around. If you own this bag, you’ve probably had it since your sweet sixteen.
MZ WALLACE: For the type-A lady who is either afflicted with OCD or, on the contrary, needs to inject more organization into her life. Offered in a wide array of styles and colors, there is a bag for every season and every day. Though the brand was initially “under the radar,” it has blossomed into a real professional urbanite’s bag of choice. If you own this bag, you’re fanatical about it, and let’s face it, that’s a little weird, it’s a bag.
MICHAEL KORS: You want a fashionable bag but don’t want to pay a lot. Michael Kors is a genius, he has created an empire and I’m in awe. Having created high quality leather goods at a reasonable price is no easy feat, but Kors has brought luxury to the masses. This is the nice bag for the girl who owns this. She may never have had anything that wasn’t a tote or backpack and this is a real leather bag, whoa. If you own this bag, you want other people to take you seriously.
LONGCHAMP: The “throw all of my shit in it” bag. The most ubiquitous of this selection, no bag is more synonymous with hustling to work or going to the mall than the Longchamp. Millions of interns use this bag as a shield, to say they mean business. And millions of commuters from Long Island and New Jersey use it to store their e-readers and extra layer for the train ride home. At the fairest of all the price points, shoppers are afforded a study bag, which has zero internal function (it’s literally a black hole), at a great price. If you own this bag, you should be working in a diamond mine, because you’re always digging.
GOYARD: The ultimate indulgence, this bag costs a lot, for what it is. While the house of Goyard was once held in high esteem, they’ve been reduced to embarrassing Canal Street knock-offs. It’s a flimsy tote with little to no function but still lets everyone know that you have class, because indeed, money can buy you class. If you own this bag, someone once told you that Goyard was the gold standard in luxury and you made it your one splurge, you also never set it on the ground.
ANY COMBINATION THEREOF: Really? I can’t even justify a circumstance where this is acceptable.
A DIFFERENT BAG: You don’t want to be part of the crowd, but don’t think that your PS1 or Pashli makes you that much different.
So. what bag do you carry?